Intro for those who are new...

Welcome to my blog which shows you some of the interesting and crazy things I found in Japan. Sometimes they might seem offensive, other times tacky but mostly you will get a good laugh and an interesting story. If you have never been to Japan or if you live there, there is always something new to discover.

In this blog I don't mean to criticize or look down on another culture. I am simply expressing how I feel and what I see when I come across things. Also, though the title says 'Only in Japan' in no way am I saying that the following things are exclusively found in Japan (though that may be the case for certain things). It is more of a thought to myself whenever I see something I didn't expect.


Monday, July 30, 2012

More crazy English!




Wanna Latin mate?

Do you need to relieve it?
Once again on my travels across Japan I came across interesting products. The first is tea. I tried it and it tastes like any other tea found in Japan. But this one claims that it has Latin Biorhythm...whatever that means. It says "PLAY! EAT! DRINK!" How do you eat tea? Anyway, I thought maybe it contains guarana (sp?) the Brazilian drink known for high-energy boosts but it does not. So what does a tea brewed in Japan using Japanese ingredients have to do with being Latin? I guess the bright colors of the bottle! It's like Carnival in your mouth...without the STDs.

Speaking of STDs, the second product is a box of condoms. I found these babies at a 7-11 in Tokyo and the polka dots caught my attention. I thought it was a box of candy until I read the title. These condoms say "For sex, to which it can relieve it." I get the for sex part. You use them for sex. But what about the relieve part? What are these condoms relieving? Relieving the couple because they are protected from babies and disease? Not sure. Let me know if you have any idea.

If any of these companies someday do decide to use an actual English speaking human to help them translate into English, please contact me. I come cheap!

Only in Japan...

Tuesday, July 24, 2012

How to be a JET Teacher

How to be a JET Teacher

1. Get a degree in anything. Whether it be in English Literature, Philosophy, Biochemical Engineering or Fine Arts; for legal and visa purposes a degree is needed to become a JET participant.

2. Speak English. Another must for visa purposes is that you must be a native English speaker from a country which has English as their first language. However, I met a lot of JETs who were from non-English speaking countries but came to North America when they were in their teenage years and they were considered native because they had citizenship.

3. Write English. I am not a good writer and all through University I got by on the fact that I was more creative in thought then mechanical in writing. But the essay portion of the application has the highest bearing on whether you get an interview. I wrote an essay that I liked and showed it to my friend who is better at the grammatical details. Using my ideas and his proficency in the editing we came up with a pretty impressive piece of writing.

4. Dress formal. I noticed that JET is really more about the image than about the teaching. Not to make it sound like a popularity contest but JET really focuses on the visual as that is what Japanese students and teachers will judge you on since they don’t know you on a personal level. You shouldn’t change your identity completely but I would think of it as wearing a costume and props for a play you will be performing. Play the part of the bright, outgoing, professional foreigner and you will be fine.

5. Be charming. At the interview all they really want to know is that you can handle the pressure of being in a room where some people understand you, some people don’t but everyone likes you. If you can act calm, professional, curteous and still let a little of your personality show then you will have a good interview. They want you to think on your feet by giving you interesting questions, making you do a demo lesson or have you introduce yourself. Sometimes you even get interviewers who purposely rub you the wrong way to see how you will react. As long as you don’t go in there and tell them you want to go to Japan to pick up highschool girls and get the latest issue of Hentai manga, you should be ok.

And that is about it. I thought teaching experience, previous experiences in Japan and other connections to Japan might have some weight. But after seeing the people that were hired along with me, most of them were either unfamiliar with any Japanese language and culture or were fresh out of University.


Saturday, July 14, 2012

Japanglish: Words Happiness Meaning Let's Sunshine!

bitch!
A handbag made for women!

Text: If all Politician rode motorcycles Then road wouldn't have potholes
For every keen motorcyvlist at last truty custom tailored bike header
Stand a chance Knock on doors
Decorious Speech and Appearance characterize true gentlemen
Neat and Tidy wear a respectable suit of clothes
I'm sure another opportunity will come.
Embrace an opportunity//Exploit an opportunity//Use an opportunity
Make use of the opportunity//Press home an advantage//take occasion
Sunday-go-to-meeting
Adjust oneself//Fix up//smarten up one's appearance//
spruce oneself up//spruce up//tidy oneself
In a no-nonsense manner//In a proper fashion//In the proper way //With neatness

I understand English is not the national, first or spoken language in many Asian countries so it makes sense that people would make mistakes when writing or speaking. That doesn't confuse me.
Also, many countries in Asia including Japan are fascinated with North American and European cultures and obsessed with dressing, eating and looking like these English cultures. So much so that not only do they buy foreign brands like Nike, Levis, GAP and Armani but they create brands in their own country and name them as if they were English brands. As you can see from the pictures above, sometimes the message gets a little misconstrued. Once again this doesn't confuse me. 
What really confuses me is that these companies that want to call their products English names or want to have English written on their products don't bother to get a fluent speaker to spell check or edit the text. So what you get is mixed up, misspelled, incoherent, cut and paste type text that baffles and misinterprets the original message. 
Which makes it not only meaningless but funny as hell! I hope these companies never change their methods. 
Check out the video below to seem some of the weirdest shops and the crazy stuff they sell!
Only in Japan...

Friday, June 29, 2012

I got a Woody!!


I think my Woody is Unbalanced

Asia is the best place to get knock-offs for about every product ever created.  Want a SONY Television but can't afford it? Get a PONY. Need new sneakers? How about some HIKE sneakers? Just do it?
Everything from Luis Bitton (Louis Vuitton)  bags to Solex (Rolex) watches can be purchased at a fraction of the price of the original. The crazy thing is that these knock-offs aren't much lower in quality and sometimes last longer than the original more expensive counterparts.
So after playing the jumbo Jenga at the bar (mentioned in a post from earlier this month) I decided to go to a toy shop and get my own set!
Once their I was presented with two options. The original Jenga with the wood-colored blocks and famous logo or for half the price I could get the colorful wooden knock-off Woody Unbalance.
Save money, have pretty much the same game and have an added bonus of crazy Japanglish written on the blocks! From the picture above I am sure you can guess which one I decided to get!
What is the craziest knock-off you have seen?

Saturday, June 23, 2012

The Amazing Spider (2012) 3D: Review

Andrew Garfield dons the new Spidey suit!
I was lucky enough to see The Amazing Spiderman in 3D before it's official release on July 3rd. Not only was this Spiderman cooler, better looking and smarter than the original but he seemed much more disturbed about his new role. He was the new Twilight-esque Edward Emo character stumbling through his discoveries into a full fledged superhero.
I will say that this Spiderman movie is much more entertaining than Spiderman 2 and 3. However does it stand up to the original Spiderman played by Tobey McGuire? Yes and No.
In terms of effects, the new one does much better but that is to be expected considering it is newer and has a bigger budget (I'm guessing here). The actors in this version are also much more likable than the last. Maybe it is just me but I couldn't stand Mary Jane the character or the actress Kristen Dunst.  Unlike the damsel in distress always needing rescuing by Spiderman in the original the new character Gwen Stacy is a stronger, adept and helpful character which is integral to the success of Spiderman.
The story line sticks close to the original movie but I liked how they did leave somethings open for speculation. Without ruining it for those of you who haven't seen it yet, I really liked how they dealt with the story of Peter Parker's parents. Stick around for the credits since there is a hidden scene in there.
Visually and story wise I think this Spiderman did an excellent job at keeping the movie young, fresh and exciting while ensuring that comic book and Spiderman fans didn't leave feeling betrayed and sold out.
The dialogue in the original movie was much better than the newer one and Tobey McGuire was much better at pulling off a nerdy, goofy type but Andrew Garfield brought a new element into Peter Parker's character. He was much more distraught and dark which I am sure younger fans will appreciate since both Harry Potter and Edward from Twilight use similar teen angst.
The final verdict is this: It's not Shakespeare nor is it going to be considered one of the greatest cinematic achievements in history. It is predictable and filled with action and adventure. But for a summer blockbuster and a good time it won't disappoint. Don't waste your money on 3D though.

Check out this YouTube video to hear my reaction after watching the movie:


Dirty Old Man: The Bar!

dirtyoldman
Happy Hour from 10am to 4am

It's Friday night. Work is done and you just want to lay back and relax with a nice cold beer with some friends. Of course it would be nice to have some pretty ladies to drink with to make the night more fun.
Well if that is your idea of a good time then this is not the place for you. The bar in this picture has a specific target market: Dirty Old Men! I like this sign for two reasons. One is obviously there is probably no other place in the world except Japan where this bar would exist and continue to exist.
Second, and most amazing is the directness of the message. This bar doesn't try to pretend it's something it's not. Everyone planning to come into this bar knows what to expect and what the clientele will be like.
Haven't you been walking through the clubbing district in your city and seen signs for bars like Fluid, Passion, Blue Twilight and Aphrodite and expected there to be groups of hot young girls intoxicated waiting to find a handsome man to take them home? Only to find that you get in there and there is two couples and groups of drunk, horny men hoping someone of the opposite persuasion will walk through the door.
Well at Dirty Old Man you will have zero expectations. In fact if there is a female in the joint it would almost be false advertising. And unlike other code words for bars made for dirty old men like The Firkin and the Owl or The Goose and the Ferret, this place gives people exactly what they asked for; a haven for old single men desperate for that scotch on the rocks and reason to exist.
Dirty Old Man is a revolution in the alcoholic establishment industry giving their target audience not only a chance to drink away their sorrows but to proudly be surrounded by similar like-minded individuals.
One day when I am a dirty old man, I hope I can find my Dirty Old Man bar to serve me!
Only in Japan...

Saturday, June 9, 2012

Building Blocks of Flirting!

Take a girl from the middle and you put it on top...

So you wanna know how to get girls? Well, I am no expert but something I noticed about girls, especially when they are in groups is they like games. No, not mind games. Of course that is part of it but I mean actual games.

Some of the best ways to approach girls in bars rather than buy drinks (since I am cheap) is a gimmick. Lots of guys use magic. Impress a girl with magic or make her laugh with a funny trick and she will happily let you sit down and have a conversation.

Along these lines, many bars in Japan have such ice breaker type games because you know Asian girls are shy but so are the guys. So to lighten the mood and help everyone feel comfortable many places offer ice breakers.

This is the first bar I have seen that offers Jumbo Jenga, though.  I was sitting at the bar minding my own business when I noticed five really cute girls drinking and playing Jenga. Now if they were just sitting there drinking I would look like a perv coming over and staring at them.

But since they had a game I came over seeming interested in the game and they invited me to play. Fast forward to 20 minutes later when we have turned this game into a drinking contest. The person who knocked over the Jenga had to take a shot.

Along with Jenga, I learned their names, had good conversations and surprisingly actually got hit on myself. It has been a long time since a girl has asked for MY number. I am married so I just gained new friends but imagine if I was single and looking to pick up!

Flirting should be fun and natural for both parties so I definitely recommend finding your gimmick.
But maybe something small since Jumbo Jenga might be hard to carry around in your pocket.


Saturday, May 26, 2012

Hello Kitty and Cutie!

This post is not really anything weird,shocking or only in Japan-eque. It is simply a picture I took when I went to the local mall near Sapporo. There was a children's section and play land. Actually the mall was quite big.
Cute Cat...Hello Kitty is nice too.
I think they were celebrating the anniversary of Sanrio which is the company that created Hello Kitty.
The picture is of a cute girl introducing a cute cat while cute children clap and crowd around with cameras hoping to capture a classic character. A lot of C's. Enjoy!

Monday, April 30, 2012

The NEW OZZY Theme!!

Most of you who read my blog also watch my YouTube Channel. I have been making videos now for about two years and I have never missed a week. Now that is dedication!
Along the way I have met many really cool You Tubers, done collaboration videos with some of them, been part of community videos, made video responses, left comments and interacted with the greatest community on the planet.
Now thanks to my friend Jericho(who also has a blog and you should read it) made a theme song for my channel! Not only is it catchy but it captures my channel perfectly. I will be using this theme for my upcoming vlogs but to be one of the first people to watch it here it is!


Saturday, April 21, 2012

Human Vending Machines!!

Human tea leaves?
The world is in danger. We all know that everyone has to do their part in order to ensure the survival of the human race. Countries and companies are creating new and innovative ways to protect our environment and make business more Eco-friendly. That being said, Japan is no exception.  In fact, Japan has now gone one step above everyone else in terms of recycling. Japan has become the first place to recycle humans to create vending machines.
Just kidding...or am I?
The picture above is from a vending machine in Japan that claims "they utilized recycled tea leaves which are human and environmentally friendly".  I am a bit confused. So is this machine made from human remains or is it made from tea leaves that were consumed my humans who are now deceased and being used to build these machines? Either way it is a scary thought.
Of course this is probably just another Japanglish error where someone in the advertising department was too lazy to translate some text and used an online translator instead. But I'd like to think the former because that would be awesome.
Only in Japan...